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This is your livejournal.

This is your livejournal on PCP after a bad breakup.

hears voices. they make sense.
"We live our lives according to stories. About being Irish or being black. About working hard or shooting heroin. Being male or female. And we spend our lives looking for evidence-facts and proof-that support our story. As a writer, you create a character, you look at the world as that character, looking for the details that make that reality the one true reality."

-Chuck Palahniuk
"Stranger Than Fiction"

When I grow up, I want to be me.

I have a job that either makes me happy or provides fodder for a lot of capslock ranting, a flat that delights me, and a number of plants, some quite tricky to keep alive. I used to be a Warren Ellis wannabe, and then I realised that I really do want to be me. I don't know if this is the benefit or the down side of age, but either way, it doesn't matter. The world doesn't need another Ellis, it needs originality.

I write, sometimes, but I'm not particularly good at it. I read a lot, and I have a big bunch of opinions on many subjects, all of which I am happy to share with you. I get obsessed pretty easily, and my life is currently a descent into madness. I flirt with alcoholism a lot. Sometimes it flirts back.

I have been described as a misanthropic extrovert. This is pretty accurate. I tend to start things that I don't finish. I like sewing and clothing and booze and books and guns and music far more than I should.


1 - I almost never use LJ cuts. If you don't want to deal with that, don't friend me.

2 - I swear. A lot. I abuse Caps Lock. A lot. I rant. A WHOLE lot. Can't deal, don't read.

3 - OCD/PTSD/SAD/Asperger's/everything else are excuses. If you are not seeking treatment, and you cannot prove that you have said condition, you are simply a dick with a keyboard. Here's a hint: it is impossible to prove over the internet that you have said condition, because you are probably just being a dick with a keyboard. It's easy to be mean to people online and call it Asperger's. Doesn't mean it's right. It's easy to diagnose with OCD because you like your carpet to be precisely three inches from the wall on either side. I like that too, and I don't call it OCD, I call it interior decor. Knock it off. Just because it's impossible to really relate to someone over the internet doesn't mean that you need an excuse to be a dick with a keyboard. I admit that I am a dick with a keyboard.

4 - Uncredited icons are ones that I am unsure of the credit on. If you know, please tell me. I like to give credit where it's due. Please ask before taking any - some are personal and/or custom made, but others are off icon sharing sites. Asking politely for credit will work a lot better than ripping my head off via email. I rip back.

5 - Icons are creator-cited or fall under item 4. Song currently used in layout is Heaven Help Us, My Chemical Romance. Everything else? Mine. I know what copyright is, and I do intend to enforce it if needed.

6 - Without everything_lj, the layout would not be nearly this awesome. Like it or not, the fact it works well is entirely due to them.

7 - I have a writing journal. If you are interested, I will tell you where it is. I don't use filters unless it is for good, not evil.

8 - I will never announce a friends-cut. Why have drama when I don't want to talk to you any more? And every day is defriending amnesty day. If you don't want to read me any more, please defriend; I will most likely not be hurt by that. I would rather be defriended honestly than kept friended dishonestly. I will defriend you if I find you boring.

9 - You are about a million times more likely to get a friend back if you tell me something about yourself, anything, so that I don't think that you're a Russian spammer. I've had to increasingly lock down my journal as the number of things I don't talk about publicly has increased, so there's your motivation; it is, essentially, F/O at this point. People who friend me and sit there for six months with absolutely no comments to me make me really, really wonder what they're doing, so I tend not to friend back when I don't know why you've come to my journal and if we have no other friends in common.

10 - I don't like extremist feminists, extremist religious types, or extremists in general. Except Spider Jerusalem. You? Not Spider Jerusalem. Quit trying to score brownie points by being extremist. Men who are extremist feminists just confuse me. Wouldn't that entail committing suicide?

11 - I have a whole lot of issues, many of which are not cute and interesting. Very rarely do I talk about happy things. Happiness is not necessarily improved by being shared. I am annoying, loud, abrasive, convinced that I am funny, and convinced that I am smarter than anyone else on the planet. Fair warning and full disclosure, and obligatory reiteration that I will not be hurt if you don't want to read that.

12 - You got something to say? Say it to my face.

13 - I do not believe in, support, condone, or in any way permit censorship (other than self) in this journal. To be perfectly clear: censorship, on LJ, in personal journals, consists of deleting comments posted under a name, comments that do not exist solely to shit-stir. I do reserve the right to censor any post, in this journal or others, that includes my real name, for reasons of anonymity; the only way to clear an LJ post out of a google cache is to delete the post entirely.

14 - You know what would be awesome? If you need to defriend me, I will understand, seriously. I will not throw things or light your cat on fire, or anything else. However, it would be fantastic if you could leave a comment on a post explaining WHY you've done so - even if it's just "Managing my flist, sorry," that helps. Otherwise, I assume I've said something that pisses you off - quite likely! - and that you've decided you don't want to deal with me any more, and that does tend to make me a bit ballistic, because I give a lot of warning that I am not a fluffy-bunnies blogger, so my feelings get hurt. I understand not wanting to deal with my levels of negativity and whingeing, but I'd love to know if it's personal or not.

15 - Mind the gap.

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