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This is your livejournal on PCP after a bad breakup.
Recent Entries 
12th-May-2008 10:42 am
hell this way // darumaseye, bring me horizon freedom // 100x100, flip the bird // decimatedreams, heroin spoon // deathbyexposure, twist dodge // alazysod_icons, angry avatar // channonyarrow, personal problem of hate // exit_eternit, my sins are legion // deathbyexposure, richard starts shit // angevin2, junkie whore // darumaseye, ++GOOD! // exairian, boys as pets // channonyarrow, more bloodshed // nyghtshayde, advisory warning // darumaseye, wake up a different person // lethaldose, damn kids yoda // m15m, pwned // potterpuffpals, too pretty to cut the grass // _m3_, tell me when I'll rise // enriana, vendetta into the west // m15m, dan radclifffe - jailbait jesus // phant, not a democracy // so_long42, coffee milk heroin bread cat food, mysterious skin disappear // hyel, your arms are too short to box with god, team midget // channonyarrow, this isn't chocolate boxes and roses, never come back // vormav, ed hell no no fucking way // mesongles, katrina can't stop the rock // petulantg, english motherfucker do you speak it?, count yourself // lawryn4rent, crazy inside // inefable, drowns in dreams // fragileentity, dead gods baby cobwebs cynic // melpamen, come home, i'm a fucking princess // __twelvenights, the essence of sarcasm, transmet calm before the storm // daruma, expecto patronum // blackdracaena, i will not rewrite the past, god and satan's book of buttsecks, writers are liars neil gaiman // refche, boy on leash // channonyarrow, stab you in the eye // kill_hilary, booze and boywhores // trollprincess, gay men at thirty // bunny_icons, blow me, iBrow // blinkilite, omg spelling // ladytalon, paint the pictures // enriana, think different // kimonthejourney, chair leg of truth // filthyassistant, patriot act no trial by jury, oh noes stitch, illiad spoiler // kateshort, the kid with the chemicals // suicidal_b, do evil burning gluing things, mcr gleeful, Obi-wan pimps // ambino1111, cheer up emu kid // dasuberflutung, author code // darumaseye, duke humphrey's library world quiet // r, play nice or I pull the pin // melpamene, save time see it my way // mind_orgasms, ball in box, loki with gun taking aim // darumaseye, kitten still standing defiance // 100x10, anakin nugget, drugs and women keep away loneliness, poor grammar tortures snape // potterpuf, soap bloodstains // darumaseye, fallen angel thinking boots // jkivela, punk rock princess // franken_stein, fear me // tararaven, end the occupation // channonyarrow, wolverine talk about me // 100x100, jeans and t shirt, patriots question pride not america // c, your daddy who is // kickthehobbit, end of the road // the__heretic, costume steal with your eyes // channony, bite my shiny metal ass // dinkylorenzo, god is pretend // melpamene, spider on green evil smirk // darumaseye, ello worm happy // 100x100, machines of destiny // graeae, dodge this trinity, common people, azrael fucking demon // arintinwe, my fandom's close bds // ayrdomei, get on your knees and pray // pms_queen, big brother bush // stufflikethat, blow up the floats // latenightcat5, the affairs of slashers, better living through chemistry // pixie, hell comes with me // ems_evil_twin, hate is baggage // lethal_d0se, smite // enriana, gentlemen liars // w_h_o_r_e, scotch cigarettes // simply_blah, evolution! // anna_sinistra, orally fixated boys, twist poster // channonyarrow, tax religion offensive // melpamene, happy avatar // channonyarrow, brokeback // starsouls1013, bullets dodge mcr // decimatedreams, sexy beast johnny depp // hotsexicons, icon that never ends // insanity_icons, hobbit please // m15m, not obscene // azuredflame, cass // deathbyexposure, aesthetic instruments blood knives // me, moose are fucking animals // __twelvenig, so emo I could kill you // mind_orgasms
I feel like I'm drowning.
25th-Apr-2008 06:59 am - Terrifying news
hell this way // darumaseye, bring me horizon freedom // 100x100, flip the bird // decimatedreams, heroin spoon // deathbyexposure, twist dodge // alazysod_icons, angry avatar // channonyarrow, personal problem of hate // exit_eternit, my sins are legion // deathbyexposure, richard starts shit // angevin2, junkie whore // darumaseye, ++GOOD! // exairian, boys as pets // channonyarrow, more bloodshed // nyghtshayde, advisory warning // darumaseye, wake up a different person // lethaldose, damn kids yoda // m15m, pwned // potterpuffpals, too pretty to cut the grass // _m3_, tell me when I'll rise // enriana, vendetta into the west // m15m, dan radclifffe - jailbait jesus // phant, not a democracy // so_long42, coffee milk heroin bread cat food, mysterious skin disappear // hyel, your arms are too short to box with god, team midget // channonyarrow, this isn't chocolate boxes and roses, never come back // vormav, ed hell no no fucking way // mesongles, katrina can't stop the rock // petulantg, english motherfucker do you speak it?, count yourself // lawryn4rent, crazy inside // inefable, drowns in dreams // fragileentity, dead gods baby cobwebs cynic // melpamen, come home, i'm a fucking princess // __twelvenights, the essence of sarcasm, transmet calm before the storm // daruma, expecto patronum // blackdracaena, i will not rewrite the past, god and satan's book of buttsecks, writers are liars neil gaiman // refche, boy on leash // channonyarrow, stab you in the eye // kill_hilary, booze and boywhores // trollprincess, gay men at thirty // bunny_icons, blow me, iBrow // blinkilite, omg spelling // ladytalon, paint the pictures // enriana, think different // kimonthejourney, chair leg of truth // filthyassistant, patriot act no trial by jury, oh noes stitch, illiad spoiler // kateshort, the kid with the chemicals // suicidal_b, do evil burning gluing things, mcr gleeful, Obi-wan pimps // ambino1111, cheer up emu kid // dasuberflutung, author code // darumaseye, duke humphrey's library world quiet // r, play nice or I pull the pin // melpamene, save time see it my way // mind_orgasms, ball in box, loki with gun taking aim // darumaseye, kitten still standing defiance // 100x10, anakin nugget, drugs and women keep away loneliness, poor grammar tortures snape // potterpuf, soap bloodstains // darumaseye, fallen angel thinking boots // jkivela, punk rock princess // franken_stein, fear me // tararaven, end the occupation // channonyarrow, wolverine talk about me // 100x100, jeans and t shirt, patriots question pride not america // c, your daddy who is // kickthehobbit, end of the road // the__heretic, costume steal with your eyes // channony, bite my shiny metal ass // dinkylorenzo, god is pretend // melpamene, spider on green evil smirk // darumaseye, ello worm happy // 100x100, machines of destiny // graeae, dodge this trinity, common people, azrael fucking demon // arintinwe, my fandom's close bds // ayrdomei, get on your knees and pray // pms_queen, big brother bush // stufflikethat, blow up the floats // latenightcat5, the affairs of slashers, better living through chemistry // pixie, hell comes with me // ems_evil_twin, hate is baggage // lethal_d0se, smite // enriana, gentlemen liars // w_h_o_r_e, scotch cigarettes // simply_blah, evolution! // anna_sinistra, orally fixated boys, twist poster // channonyarrow, tax religion offensive // melpamene, happy avatar // channonyarrow, brokeback // starsouls1013, bullets dodge mcr // decimatedreams, sexy beast johnny depp // hotsexicons, icon that never ends // insanity_icons, hobbit please // m15m, not obscene // azuredflame, cass // deathbyexposure, aesthetic instruments blood knives // me, moose are fucking animals // __twelvenig, so emo I could kill you // mind_orgasms
Motley Crue has a new album out.

The question that most forcefully presents itself for asking, although rest assured that I have many questions about this, is why? Does the world really need another Motley Crue album, one that sounds, in fact, as though the twenty years between "1988" and "now" have avoided their notice?

Also, I don't need to be reminded that Vince Neil warbles, really I don't.

In conclusion, why, god, why?
22nd-Apr-2008 04:08 pm - Censorship
hell this way // darumaseye, bring me horizon freedom // 100x100, flip the bird // decimatedreams, heroin spoon // deathbyexposure, twist dodge // alazysod_icons, angry avatar // channonyarrow, personal problem of hate // exit_eternit, my sins are legion // deathbyexposure, richard starts shit // angevin2, junkie whore // darumaseye, ++GOOD! // exairian, boys as pets // channonyarrow, more bloodshed // nyghtshayde, advisory warning // darumaseye, wake up a different person // lethaldose, damn kids yoda // m15m, pwned // potterpuffpals, too pretty to cut the grass // _m3_, tell me when I'll rise // enriana, vendetta into the west // m15m, dan radclifffe - jailbait jesus // phant, not a democracy // so_long42, coffee milk heroin bread cat food, mysterious skin disappear // hyel, your arms are too short to box with god, team midget // channonyarrow, this isn't chocolate boxes and roses, never come back // vormav, ed hell no no fucking way // mesongles, katrina can't stop the rock // petulantg, english motherfucker do you speak it?, count yourself // lawryn4rent, crazy inside // inefable, drowns in dreams // fragileentity, dead gods baby cobwebs cynic // melpamen, come home, i'm a fucking princess // __twelvenights, the essence of sarcasm, transmet calm before the storm // daruma, expecto patronum // blackdracaena, i will not rewrite the past, god and satan's book of buttsecks, writers are liars neil gaiman // refche, boy on leash // channonyarrow, stab you in the eye // kill_hilary, booze and boywhores // trollprincess, gay men at thirty // bunny_icons, blow me, iBrow // blinkilite, omg spelling // ladytalon, paint the pictures // enriana, think different // kimonthejourney, chair leg of truth // filthyassistant, patriot act no trial by jury, oh noes stitch, illiad spoiler // kateshort, the kid with the chemicals // suicidal_b, do evil burning gluing things, mcr gleeful, Obi-wan pimps // ambino1111, cheer up emu kid // dasuberflutung, author code // darumaseye, duke humphrey's library world quiet // r, play nice or I pull the pin // melpamene, save time see it my way // mind_orgasms, ball in box, loki with gun taking aim // darumaseye, kitten still standing defiance // 100x10, anakin nugget, drugs and women keep away loneliness, poor grammar tortures snape // potterpuf, soap bloodstains // darumaseye, fallen angel thinking boots // jkivela, punk rock princess // franken_stein, fear me // tararaven, end the occupation // channonyarrow, wolverine talk about me // 100x100, jeans and t shirt, patriots question pride not america // c, your daddy who is // kickthehobbit, end of the road // the__heretic, costume steal with your eyes // channony, bite my shiny metal ass // dinkylorenzo, god is pretend // melpamene, spider on green evil smirk // darumaseye, ello worm happy // 100x100, machines of destiny // graeae, dodge this trinity, common people, azrael fucking demon // arintinwe, my fandom's close bds // ayrdomei, get on your knees and pray // pms_queen, big brother bush // stufflikethat, blow up the floats // latenightcat5, the affairs of slashers, better living through chemistry // pixie, hell comes with me // ems_evil_twin, hate is baggage // lethal_d0se, smite // enriana, gentlemen liars // w_h_o_r_e, scotch cigarettes // simply_blah, evolution! // anna_sinistra, orally fixated boys, twist poster // channonyarrow, tax religion offensive // melpamene, happy avatar // channonyarrow, brokeback // starsouls1013, bullets dodge mcr // decimatedreams, sexy beast johnny depp // hotsexicons, icon that never ends // insanity_icons, hobbit please // m15m, not obscene // azuredflame, cass // deathbyexposure, aesthetic instruments blood knives // me, moose are fucking animals // __twelvenig, so emo I could kill you // mind_orgasms
You know what?

You can say anything you want. You can espouse any belief you want, you can argue anything you want, you can be a total nutbar, you can be a Nazi, you can be a furry. If I disagree with you, I don't really think that I have the right to censor you - because you still get the right to your opinion, and me censoring you isn't going to change your mind. It is, in fact, quite likely to cement it even further into your head.

And yes, I do feel more strongly about censorship than I do about pretty much anything else. I feel a lot more strongly about it, in fact, than I do about politics, knowledge, awareness, or the Open Source Boob Project. I will defend your right to fuck up your life in many interesting and varied ways; I will never, ever support you if you choose to censor others.

That's my line in the sand. Censorship is wrong; there is no justification for it whatsoever.*

There is absolutely no justification for it on LJ unless both parties have agreed that a comment thread was mutually non-beneficial and both chosen to delete it. Choosing to leave the parts of the conversation that make one party look rude and deleting the parts where they were tripping over themselves to apologise is amazingly, breathtakingly rude.


*With, since I'm grammar-nazi-ing elsewhere, the exception of harmful speech, such as shouting fire in a crowded theatre when there is no fire. That's not censorship - that's harming others, which is something to be prevented at number one, on my priority list.



ETA: You know what else? When I was in college, I had a teacher who recounted the times he'd won arguments about his "hippie ways" by pointing out that not only did he fight in Korea, he'd volunteered, and he'd become partially disabled as a result - that that somehow gave him a free pass to criticise America.

This is not a true statement. Anyone has a free pass to criticise America. You and I and everyone else have a responsibility to decide what criteria we want to place on who we care to listen to critique it, but that doesn't mean that someone can't critique. And saying that someone can critique because they have volunteered to be part of the US military during a war but they couldn't if they hadn't is wrong.

That doesn't mean that my teacher didn't volunteer: that meant that my teacher did not walk into arguments saying "Well, this is wrong and this is wrong and that's wrong, and by the way, I fought in Korea, motherfucker," and expected to win. What I really don't like about the OSBP, aside from how it's taken over my flist, how it's only "okay" to feel one way about it (and I dislike [info]theferrett's retraction of the post and project from that standpoint), and how it's directly led to me being censored which pisses me off, is the fact that I could win some of these arguments if I said "Yeah, yeah, you think I don't know that women can get groped on the street by primitive screwhead assholes, but I've been groped by random strangers (and nearly broke my leg falling over in surprise), I've been whistled at by ill-mannered pigs, and I have been raped," but I can't win them by saying "Look, all I want you to acknowledge is that by phrasing what you have in that language, you're saying that I don't have the right to choose what happens to my body."

What's more fucked up here? The OSBP or the fact that's revealing really, really deeply-entrenched reflexive overcorrection of politically-correct behaviour from intelligent people who should know better than to say that no woman should be touched like that because the person saying that doesn't want to be?

What if I said I did, assuming my total control of the situation, and my right to refuse even if I said I wasn't averse to being asked the question? Does that make me not worth your support and protection and care because I don't see my body the same way you do? Would you refuse my support and protection and care because I don't march in step with you?

Why are you trying to protect me when I don't know that I want to be protected like that? I want people to see the difference between two things:
- Politeness and the Law argue that no one is touched without their consent. No one. I firmly, and wholeheartedly, and even violently, believe and affirm this.
- Choice argues that I get to decide what happens to me, and everyone running around making blanket statements about how no woman should be touched like this has made my choice for me: I now cannot make the decision that I would be intrigued to be asked that question without, evidently, abrogating my right to consider myself a woman.

I cannot possibly be the only person who sees the distinction here.

If you say that "No woman should be touched like that (implying the OSBP) without her consent", that follows politeness, the law, and choice, and is absolutely what will have me cheering you on for. If you say that "No woman should be touched like that (implying the OSBP)," that only follows politeness and the law, and does not acknowledge my right to choose.

Oh the irony of it, that we as good liberals have finally overcorrected the Right To Choose so far that there is no right to choose. When did we become Republicans?

What I believe - and I will defend you for it - is that you, me, all of us, we all have the right to choose, and there is nothing whatsoever about the right to choose, in any circumstance, that says your choice has to follow the law. The law says that, in America, abortion is legal (broadly speaking). I may or may not agree with that law, but I can make a choice that allows my morality to not infringe on your morality. The law says that, in America, homicide is illegal (broadly speaking). I may or may not choose to murder, but I can make a choice without needing it to fit the law (though if I don't, I run the risk of punishment). The law says that the speedlimit is 70 mph near where I live; nothing in the law compels me not to drive over that speed, though I admit, again, that I run risks.

The law says that no one has to put up with being touched in ways they find unwelcome. I can still make a choice that allows the law to stand and does not abrogate your right or my right or anyone else's right to choose differently under specific circumstances.

The point is not that it is women whose breasts are primarily being focused on here, not for me. The point is not that, clearly, men are all asshole pigdogs who just want to touch boobies and not one of them has the sense or socialisation god gave a goat, so the OSBP is just an invitation to rape, and will concomitantly increase the number of rapists in the population. The point is not even that I feel that our culture is overly non-touch-oriented, with bad results, and that destigmatising some things, with consent offered, may improve life for us all.

The point is that there are plenty of people out there willing to take away my right to choose because they don't agree with one side of the choice. I don't agree with "wet" reservations because of harm to residents; do I have the right to use my Caucasian access to power to decree that all reservations will now be "dry"?

No. I think we all can agree that I do not, not even if it is to prevent harm to a group of people I don't represent. You have to make that choice for yourself. I will support your choice to the extent of my ability: I will never, ever let you avoid making it.
22nd-Apr-2008 07:58 am - One of those one-line things
hell this way // darumaseye, bring me horizon freedom // 100x100, flip the bird // decimatedreams, heroin spoon // deathbyexposure, twist dodge // alazysod_icons, angry avatar // channonyarrow, personal problem of hate // exit_eternit, my sins are legion // deathbyexposure, richard starts shit // angevin2, junkie whore // darumaseye, ++GOOD! // exairian, boys as pets // channonyarrow, more bloodshed // nyghtshayde, advisory warning // darumaseye, wake up a different person // lethaldose, damn kids yoda // m15m, pwned // potterpuffpals, too pretty to cut the grass // _m3_, tell me when I'll rise // enriana, vendetta into the west // m15m, dan radclifffe - jailbait jesus // phant, not a democracy // so_long42, coffee milk heroin bread cat food, mysterious skin disappear // hyel, your arms are too short to box with god, team midget // channonyarrow, this isn't chocolate boxes and roses, never come back // vormav, ed hell no no fucking way // mesongles, katrina can't stop the rock // petulantg, english motherfucker do you speak it?, count yourself // lawryn4rent, crazy inside // inefable, drowns in dreams // fragileentity, dead gods baby cobwebs cynic // melpamen, come home, i'm a fucking princess // __twelvenights, the essence of sarcasm, transmet calm before the storm // daruma, expecto patronum // blackdracaena, i will not rewrite the past, god and satan's book of buttsecks, writers are liars neil gaiman // refche, boy on leash // channonyarrow, stab you in the eye // kill_hilary, booze and boywhores // trollprincess, gay men at thirty // bunny_icons, blow me, iBrow // blinkilite, omg spelling // ladytalon, paint the pictures // enriana, think different // kimonthejourney, chair leg of truth // filthyassistant, patriot act no trial by jury, oh noes stitch, illiad spoiler // kateshort, the kid with the chemicals // suicidal_b, do evil burning gluing things, mcr gleeful, Obi-wan pimps // ambino1111, cheer up emu kid // dasuberflutung, author code // darumaseye, duke humphrey's library world quiet // r, play nice or I pull the pin // melpamene, save time see it my way // mind_orgasms, ball in box, loki with gun taking aim // darumaseye, kitten still standing defiance // 100x10, anakin nugget, drugs and women keep away loneliness, poor grammar tortures snape // potterpuf, soap bloodstains // darumaseye, fallen angel thinking boots // jkivela, punk rock princess // franken_stein, fear me // tararaven, end the occupation // channonyarrow, wolverine talk about me // 100x100, jeans and t shirt, patriots question pride not america // c, your daddy who is // kickthehobbit, end of the road // the__heretic, costume steal with your eyes // channony, bite my shiny metal ass // dinkylorenzo, god is pretend // melpamene, spider on green evil smirk // darumaseye, ello worm happy // 100x100, machines of destiny // graeae, dodge this trinity, common people, azrael fucking demon // arintinwe, my fandom's close bds // ayrdomei, get on your knees and pray // pms_queen, big brother bush // stufflikethat, blow up the floats // latenightcat5, the affairs of slashers, better living through chemistry // pixie, hell comes with me // ems_evil_twin, hate is baggage // lethal_d0se, smite // enriana, gentlemen liars // w_h_o_r_e, scotch cigarettes // simply_blah, evolution! // anna_sinistra, orally fixated boys, twist poster // channonyarrow, tax religion offensive // melpamene, happy avatar // channonyarrow, brokeback // starsouls1013, bullets dodge mcr // decimatedreams, sexy beast johnny depp // hotsexicons, icon that never ends // insanity_icons, hobbit please // m15m, not obscene // azuredflame, cass // deathbyexposure, aesthetic instruments blood knives // me, moose are fucking animals // __twelvenig, so emo I could kill you // mind_orgasms
I have no idea what the hell I'm doing, nor why, but it's becoming increasingly clear that I bloody shouldn't be.

I need a virtual quarter that I can flip.
15th-Apr-2008 02:37 pm
hell this way // darumaseye, bring me horizon freedom // 100x100, flip the bird // decimatedreams, heroin spoon // deathbyexposure, twist dodge // alazysod_icons, angry avatar // channonyarrow, personal problem of hate // exit_eternit, my sins are legion // deathbyexposure, richard starts shit // angevin2, junkie whore // darumaseye, ++GOOD! // exairian, boys as pets // channonyarrow, more bloodshed // nyghtshayde, advisory warning // darumaseye, wake up a different person // lethaldose, damn kids yoda // m15m, pwned // potterpuffpals, too pretty to cut the grass // _m3_, tell me when I'll rise // enriana, vendetta into the west // m15m, dan radclifffe - jailbait jesus // phant, not a democracy // so_long42, coffee milk heroin bread cat food, mysterious skin disappear // hyel, your arms are too short to box with god, team midget // channonyarrow, this isn't chocolate boxes and roses, never come back // vormav, ed hell no no fucking way // mesongles, katrina can't stop the rock // petulantg, english motherfucker do you speak it?, count yourself // lawryn4rent, crazy inside // inefable, drowns in dreams // fragileentity, dead gods baby cobwebs cynic // melpamen, come home, i'm a fucking princess // __twelvenights, the essence of sarcasm, transmet calm before the storm // daruma, expecto patronum // blackdracaena, i will not rewrite the past, god and satan's book of buttsecks, writers are liars neil gaiman // refche, boy on leash // channonyarrow, stab you in the eye // kill_hilary, booze and boywhores // trollprincess, gay men at thirty // bunny_icons, blow me, iBrow // blinkilite, omg spelling // ladytalon, paint the pictures // enriana, think different // kimonthejourney, chair leg of truth // filthyassistant, patriot act no trial by jury, oh noes stitch, illiad spoiler // kateshort, the kid with the chemicals // suicidal_b, do evil burning gluing things, mcr gleeful, Obi-wan pimps // ambino1111, cheer up emu kid // dasuberflutung, author code // darumaseye, duke humphrey's library world quiet // r, play nice or I pull the pin // melpamene, save time see it my way // mind_orgasms, ball in box, loki with gun taking aim // darumaseye, kitten still standing defiance // 100x10, anakin nugget, drugs and women keep away loneliness, poor grammar tortures snape // potterpuf, soap bloodstains // darumaseye, fallen angel thinking boots // jkivela, punk rock princess // franken_stein, fear me // tararaven, end the occupation // channonyarrow, wolverine talk about me // 100x100, jeans and t shirt, patriots question pride not america // c, your daddy who is // kickthehobbit, end of the road // the__heretic, costume steal with your eyes // channony, bite my shiny metal ass // dinkylorenzo, god is pretend // melpamene, spider on green evil smirk // darumaseye, ello worm happy // 100x100, machines of destiny // graeae, dodge this trinity, common people, azrael fucking demon // arintinwe, my fandom's close bds // ayrdomei, get on your knees and pray // pms_queen, big brother bush // stufflikethat, blow up the floats // latenightcat5, the affairs of slashers, better living through chemistry // pixie, hell comes with me // ems_evil_twin, hate is baggage // lethal_d0se, smite // enriana, gentlemen liars // w_h_o_r_e, scotch cigarettes // simply_blah, evolution! // anna_sinistra, orally fixated boys, twist poster // channonyarrow, tax religion offensive // melpamene, happy avatar // channonyarrow, brokeback // starsouls1013, bullets dodge mcr // decimatedreams, sexy beast johnny depp // hotsexicons, icon that never ends // insanity_icons, hobbit please // m15m, not obscene // azuredflame, cass // deathbyexposure, aesthetic instruments blood knives // me, moose are fucking animals // __twelvenig, so emo I could kill you // mind_orgasms
What I don't like: I can't use words like "awesome" any more to describe "something that fills me with a sense of awe", such as the part of Utah where my brother lives, some stories, some uses of words, some experiences that border on religious, because it has been completely co-opted by "cool" as a meaning.

Stop that. Everyone is taking away my favourite words.

Because sometimes, there is no way to say that something has been experienced other than to say that it is "awesome", and to be full of awe and wonder and a whole lot of other things packed into one tiny word. And saying that it is "cool" doesn't cut what I am feeling.
15th-Apr-2008 11:44 am
hell this way // darumaseye, bring me horizon freedom // 100x100, flip the bird // decimatedreams, heroin spoon // deathbyexposure, twist dodge // alazysod_icons, angry avatar // channonyarrow, personal problem of hate // exit_eternit, my sins are legion // deathbyexposure, richard starts shit // angevin2, junkie whore // darumaseye, ++GOOD! // exairian, boys as pets // channonyarrow, more bloodshed // nyghtshayde, advisory warning // darumaseye, wake up a different person // lethaldose, damn kids yoda // m15m, pwned // potterpuffpals, too pretty to cut the grass // _m3_, tell me when I'll rise // enriana, vendetta into the west // m15m, dan radclifffe - jailbait jesus // phant, not a democracy // so_long42, coffee milk heroin bread cat food, mysterious skin disappear // hyel, your arms are too short to box with god, team midget // channonyarrow, this isn't chocolate boxes and roses, never come back // vormav, ed hell no no fucking way // mesongles, katrina can't stop the rock // petulantg, english motherfucker do you speak it?, count yourself // lawryn4rent, crazy inside // inefable, drowns in dreams // fragileentity, dead gods baby cobwebs cynic // melpamen, come home, i'm a fucking princess // __twelvenights, the essence of sarcasm, transmet calm before the storm // daruma, expecto patronum // blackdracaena, i will not rewrite the past, god and satan's book of buttsecks, writers are liars neil gaiman // refche, boy on leash // channonyarrow, stab you in the eye // kill_hilary, booze and boywhores // trollprincess, gay men at thirty // bunny_icons, blow me, iBrow // blinkilite, omg spelling // ladytalon, paint the pictures // enriana, think different // kimonthejourney, chair leg of truth // filthyassistant, patriot act no trial by jury, oh noes stitch, illiad spoiler // kateshort, the kid with the chemicals // suicidal_b, do evil burning gluing things, mcr gleeful, Obi-wan pimps // ambino1111, cheer up emu kid // dasuberflutung, author code // darumaseye, duke humphrey's library world quiet // r, play nice or I pull the pin // melpamene, save time see it my way // mind_orgasms, ball in box, loki with gun taking aim // darumaseye, kitten still standing defiance // 100x10, anakin nugget, drugs and women keep away loneliness, poor grammar tortures snape // potterpuf, soap bloodstains // darumaseye, fallen angel thinking boots // jkivela, punk rock princess // franken_stein, fear me // tararaven, end the occupation // channonyarrow, wolverine talk about me // 100x100, jeans and t shirt, patriots question pride not america // c, your daddy who is // kickthehobbit, end of the road // the__heretic, costume steal with your eyes // channony, bite my shiny metal ass // dinkylorenzo, god is pretend // melpamene, spider on green evil smirk // darumaseye, ello worm happy // 100x100, machines of destiny // graeae, dodge this trinity, common people, azrael fucking demon // arintinwe, my fandom's close bds // ayrdomei, get on your knees and pray // pms_queen, big brother bush // stufflikethat, blow up the floats // latenightcat5, the affairs of slashers, better living through chemistry // pixie, hell comes with me // ems_evil_twin, hate is baggage // lethal_d0se, smite // enriana, gentlemen liars // w_h_o_r_e, scotch cigarettes // simply_blah, evolution! // anna_sinistra, orally fixated boys, twist poster // channonyarrow, tax religion offensive // melpamene, happy avatar // channonyarrow, brokeback // starsouls1013, bullets dodge mcr // decimatedreams, sexy beast johnny depp // hotsexicons, icon that never ends // insanity_icons, hobbit please // m15m, not obscene // azuredflame, cass // deathbyexposure, aesthetic instruments blood knives // me, moose are fucking animals // __twelvenig, so emo I could kill you // mind_orgasms
This is not hilarious, really.

I need an archiving application of SOME SORT (I don't even care, seriously) and I HAD ONE. Then I got a new computer. I no longer have one.

But wait, it gets better.

I can't DOWNLOAD one, because I can't open them.

Because I need an archiving application to open them.

THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF STUPID FUCKING RECURSION.
12th-Apr-2008 07:06 pm
hell this way // darumaseye, bring me horizon freedom // 100x100, flip the bird // decimatedreams, heroin spoon // deathbyexposure, twist dodge // alazysod_icons, angry avatar // channonyarrow, personal problem of hate // exit_eternit, my sins are legion // deathbyexposure, richard starts shit // angevin2, junkie whore // darumaseye, ++GOOD! // exairian, boys as pets // channonyarrow, more bloodshed // nyghtshayde, advisory warning // darumaseye, wake up a different person // lethaldose, damn kids yoda // m15m, pwned // potterpuffpals, too pretty to cut the grass // _m3_, tell me when I'll rise // enriana, vendetta into the west // m15m, dan radclifffe - jailbait jesus // phant, not a democracy // so_long42, coffee milk heroin bread cat food, mysterious skin disappear // hyel, your arms are too short to box with god, team midget // channonyarrow, this isn't chocolate boxes and roses, never come back // vormav, ed hell no no fucking way // mesongles, katrina can't stop the rock // petulantg, english motherfucker do you speak it?, count yourself // lawryn4rent, crazy inside // inefable, drowns in dreams // fragileentity, dead gods baby cobwebs cynic // melpamen, come home, i'm a fucking princess // __twelvenights, the essence of sarcasm, transmet calm before the storm // daruma, expecto patronum // blackdracaena, i will not rewrite the past, god and satan's book of buttsecks, writers are liars neil gaiman // refche, boy on leash // channonyarrow, stab you in the eye // kill_hilary, booze and boywhores // trollprincess, gay men at thirty // bunny_icons, blow me, iBrow // blinkilite, omg spelling // ladytalon, paint the pictures // enriana, think different // kimonthejourney, chair leg of truth // filthyassistant, patriot act no trial by jury, oh noes stitch, illiad spoiler // kateshort, the kid with the chemicals // suicidal_b, do evil burning gluing things, mcr gleeful, Obi-wan pimps // ambino1111, cheer up emu kid // dasuberflutung, author code // darumaseye, duke humphrey's library world quiet // r, play nice or I pull the pin // melpamene, save time see it my way // mind_orgasms, ball in box, loki with gun taking aim // darumaseye, kitten still standing defiance // 100x10, anakin nugget, drugs and women keep away loneliness, poor grammar tortures snape // potterpuf, soap bloodstains // darumaseye, fallen angel thinking boots // jkivela, punk rock princess // franken_stein, fear me // tararaven, end the occupation // channonyarrow, wolverine talk about me // 100x100, jeans and t shirt, patriots question pride not america // c, your daddy who is // kickthehobbit, end of the road // the__heretic, costume steal with your eyes // channony, bite my shiny metal ass // dinkylorenzo, god is pretend // melpamene, spider on green evil smirk // darumaseye, ello worm happy // 100x100, machines of destiny // graeae, dodge this trinity, common people, azrael fucking demon // arintinwe, my fandom's close bds // ayrdomei, get on your knees and pray // pms_queen, big brother bush // stufflikethat, blow up the floats // latenightcat5, the affairs of slashers, better living through chemistry // pixie, hell comes with me // ems_evil_twin, hate is baggage // lethal_d0se, smite // enriana, gentlemen liars // w_h_o_r_e, scotch cigarettes // simply_blah, evolution! // anna_sinistra, orally fixated boys, twist poster // channonyarrow, tax religion offensive // melpamene, happy avatar // channonyarrow, brokeback // starsouls1013, bullets dodge mcr // decimatedreams, sexy beast johnny depp // hotsexicons, icon that never ends // insanity_icons, hobbit please // m15m, not obscene // azuredflame, cass // deathbyexposure, aesthetic instruments blood knives // me, moose are fucking animals // __twelvenig, so emo I could kill you // mind_orgasms
I return!

Concerts were fantastic, and I totally advise everyone to, if you get a chance, go to a concert on the singer's birthday. Wednesday's show was even better than Newark, for serious.

All in all, I had such a fantastic time on my trip that I don't really feel like recounting it. Some of that has to do with my problems with photography - I'm not one to take lots of pictures, something reinforced by Prineville on this trip - but some of it has to do with breaking something down equalling killing it. Let's just say that the trip was fantastic all around, and life is good.

Also, I now have a Mikey Fuckin Way tshirt and a demented cheerleader skirt that I think is too short.

Oh, and: RADIOHEAD. I am going to MOTHERFUCKING RADIOHEAD IN AUGUST, because [info]graeae is AWESOME, and also because by then I might have forgotten how fucking bad my legs hurt and might jump up and down a lot.

(Seriously, McMenamin's Crystal Ballroom? Worst. Floor. Ever.)


ETA: AHAHAHAHAHA I FUCKING WIN FOREVER AND SO HARD. [info]sparkfrost, you MUST tell me what the fuck happened to bandomsecrets!
7th-Apr-2008 08:36 am
hell this way // darumaseye, bring me horizon freedom // 100x100, flip the bird // decimatedreams, heroin spoon // deathbyexposure, twist dodge // alazysod_icons, angry avatar // channonyarrow, personal problem of hate // exit_eternit, my sins are legion // deathbyexposure, richard starts shit // angevin2, junkie whore // darumaseye, ++GOOD! // exairian, boys as pets // channonyarrow, more bloodshed // nyghtshayde, advisory warning // darumaseye, wake up a different person // lethaldose, damn kids yoda // m15m, pwned // potterpuffpals, too pretty to cut the grass // _m3_, tell me when I'll rise // enriana, vendetta into the west // m15m, dan radclifffe - jailbait jesus // phant, not a democracy // so_long42, coffee milk heroin bread cat food, mysterious skin disappear // hyel, your arms are too short to box with god, team midget // channonyarrow, this isn't chocolate boxes and roses, never come back // vormav, ed hell no no fucking way // mesongles, katrina can't stop the rock // petulantg, english motherfucker do you speak it?, count yourself // lawryn4rent, crazy inside // inefable, drowns in dreams // fragileentity, dead gods baby cobwebs cynic // melpamen, come home, i'm a fucking princess // __twelvenights, the essence of sarcasm, transmet calm before the storm // daruma, expecto patronum // blackdracaena, i will not rewrite the past, god and satan's book of buttsecks, writers are liars neil gaiman // refche, boy on leash // channonyarrow, stab you in the eye // kill_hilary, booze and boywhores // trollprincess, gay men at thirty // bunny_icons, blow me, iBrow // blinkilite, omg spelling // ladytalon, paint the pictures // enriana, think different // kimonthejourney, chair leg of truth // filthyassistant, patriot act no trial by jury, oh noes stitch, illiad spoiler // kateshort, the kid with the chemicals // suicidal_b, do evil burning gluing things, mcr gleeful, Obi-wan pimps // ambino1111, cheer up emu kid // dasuberflutung, author code // darumaseye, duke humphrey's library world quiet // r, play nice or I pull the pin // melpamene, save time see it my way // mind_orgasms, ball in box, loki with gun taking aim // darumaseye, kitten still standing defiance // 100x10, anakin nugget, drugs and women keep away loneliness, poor grammar tortures snape // potterpuf, soap bloodstains // darumaseye, fallen angel thinking boots // jkivela, punk rock princess // franken_stein, fear me // tararaven, end the occupation // channonyarrow, wolverine talk about me // 100x100, jeans and t shirt, patriots question pride not america // c, your daddy who is // kickthehobbit, end of the road // the__heretic, costume steal with your eyes // channony, bite my shiny metal ass // dinkylorenzo, god is pretend // melpamene, spider on green evil smirk // darumaseye, ello worm happy // 100x100, machines of destiny // graeae, dodge this trinity, common people, azrael fucking demon // arintinwe, my fandom's close bds // ayrdomei, get on your knees and pray // pms_queen, big brother bush // stufflikethat, blow up the floats // latenightcat5, the affairs of slashers, better living through chemistry // pixie, hell comes with me // ems_evil_twin, hate is baggage // lethal_d0se, smite // enriana, gentlemen liars // w_h_o_r_e, scotch cigarettes // simply_blah, evolution! // anna_sinistra, orally fixated boys, twist poster // channonyarrow, tax religion offensive // melpamene, happy avatar // channonyarrow, brokeback // starsouls1013, bullets dodge mcr // decimatedreams, sexy beast johnny depp // hotsexicons, icon that never ends // insanity_icons, hobbit please // m15m, not obscene // azuredflame, cass // deathbyexposure, aesthetic instruments blood knives // me, moose are fucking animals // __twelvenig, so emo I could kill you // mind_orgasms
I have to share this RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/129rfg

That link? That link? Yeah, that link's My Chemical Romance covering FORTUNATE SON. Yes. This band has reached somehow unforseen levels of total dorkitude and awesome, and have covered...Creedence Clearwater Revival.

This cracks me up SO MUCH. How is this band EVEN REAL? HOW?

Mad ♥ to them, and mad ♥ to [info]graeae who ripped it for me (from where, I know not).

For some reason it shows up as a 24 minute file, but it's really not. I have no explanation. GO FORTH AND LISTEN.

Also: More to come, since I sent [info]graeae on a mission, and as usual, she took it really really down and did awesome things. WATCH THIS SPACE.
4th-Apr-2008 06:40 pm
hell this way // darumaseye, bring me horizon freedom // 100x100, flip the bird // decimatedreams, heroin spoon // deathbyexposure, twist dodge // alazysod_icons, angry avatar // channonyarrow, personal problem of hate // exit_eternit, my sins are legion // deathbyexposure, richard starts shit // angevin2, junkie whore // darumaseye, ++GOOD! // exairian, boys as pets // channonyarrow, more bloodshed // nyghtshayde, advisory warning // darumaseye, wake up a different person // lethaldose, damn kids yoda // m15m, pwned // potterpuffpals, too pretty to cut the grass // _m3_, tell me when I'll rise // enriana, vendetta into the west // m15m, dan radclifffe - jailbait jesus // phant, not a democracy // so_long42, coffee milk heroin bread cat food, mysterious skin disappear // hyel, your arms are too short to box with god, team midget // channonyarrow, this isn't chocolate boxes and roses, never come back // vormav, ed hell no no fucking way // mesongles, katrina can't stop the rock // petulantg, english motherfucker do you speak it?, count yourself // lawryn4rent, crazy inside // inefable, drowns in dreams // fragileentity, dead gods baby cobwebs cynic // melpamen, come home, i'm a fucking princess // __twelvenights, the essence of sarcasm, transmet calm before the storm // daruma, expecto patronum // blackdracaena, i will not rewrite the past, god and satan's book of buttsecks, writers are liars neil gaiman // refche, boy on leash // channonyarrow, stab you in the eye // kill_hilary, booze and boywhores // trollprincess, gay men at thirty // bunny_icons, blow me, iBrow // blinkilite, omg spelling // ladytalon, paint the pictures // enriana, think different // kimonthejourney, chair leg of truth // filthyassistant, patriot act no trial by jury, oh noes stitch, illiad spoiler // kateshort, the kid with the chemicals // suicidal_b, do evil burning gluing things, mcr gleeful, Obi-wan pimps // ambino1111, cheer up emu kid // dasuberflutung, author code // darumaseye, duke humphrey's library world quiet // r, play nice or I pull the pin // melpamene, save time see it my way // mind_orgasms, ball in box, loki with gun taking aim // darumaseye, kitten still standing defiance // 100x10, anakin nugget, drugs and women keep away loneliness, poor grammar tortures snape // potterpuf, soap bloodstains // darumaseye, fallen angel thinking boots // jkivela, punk rock princess // franken_stein, fear me // tararaven, end the occupation // channonyarrow, wolverine talk about me // 100x100, jeans and t shirt, patriots question pride not america // c, your daddy who is // kickthehobbit, end of the road // the__heretic, costume steal with your eyes // channony, bite my shiny metal ass // dinkylorenzo, god is pretend // melpamene, spider on green evil smirk // darumaseye, ello worm happy // 100x100, machines of destiny // graeae, dodge this trinity, common people, azrael fucking demon // arintinwe, my fandom's close bds // ayrdomei, get on your knees and pray // pms_queen, big brother bush // stufflikethat, blow up the floats // latenightcat5, the affairs of slashers, better living through chemistry // pixie, hell comes with me // ems_evil_twin, hate is baggage // lethal_d0se, smite // enriana, gentlemen liars // w_h_o_r_e, scotch cigarettes // simply_blah, evolution! // anna_sinistra, orally fixated boys, twist poster // channonyarrow, tax religion offensive // melpamene, happy avatar // channonyarrow, brokeback // starsouls1013, bullets dodge mcr // decimatedreams, sexy beast johnny depp // hotsexicons, icon that never ends // insanity_icons, hobbit please // m15m, not obscene // azuredflame, cass // deathbyexposure, aesthetic instruments blood knives // me, moose are fucking animals // __twelvenig, so emo I could kill you // mind_orgasms
A.) Mad props to [info]exairian. Look to my icon for the reason. ++GOOD! (Now I can annoy my coworkers a whole lot more. *g*)

B.) I would really like to buy myself this hoodie - but there's one typo and one situationally-wrong capitalisation on it, and I can't justify dropping $45.00 on a hoodie that will put me in physical pain to wear.

And yet, part of me says. (This is the part that says that posters are really people. Watching me.) And yet. This is the text that I have on my cube wall at work, to relax myself in between flaying morons with. This is the text that I have quoted, in a rare move, in its entirety in this very LJ. This is the text that I based the entire tag "the fear engine" from. This is the text that I have run about sharing with every human being on the planet because it is so goddamn funny to be able to say "I will open one of my six mouths and sing the song that ends the part of the earth you are standing on first" in meetings. It's not so funny if no one gets it. (When they do, they tend to back away slowly. When they don't, they tend to back away a lot more quickly.)

But it's still got an extra period, and that "Goddamn" should not be capitalised like that.

So lo, I am sad, but whatevs, I'm not buying something that asstastically expensive if it's going to make me want to kill puppies to look at it. THIS IS WHAT MY JOB HAS BROUGHT ME TO.

C.) My boss is officially more emo than I am, and has threatened to change his name to Raivin, write shitty emo poetry, and seized enthusiastically on my suggestion of gardening in the dark.

D.) Eff this layout, I need to fix it.

E.) Oh har, it helps to hit save.
4th-Apr-2008 11:05 am
hell this way // darumaseye, bring me horizon freedom // 100x100, flip the bird // decimatedreams, heroin spoon // deathbyexposure, twist dodge // alazysod_icons, angry avatar // channonyarrow, personal problem of hate // exit_eternit, my sins are legion // deathbyexposure, richard starts shit // angevin2, junkie whore // darumaseye, ++GOOD! // exairian, boys as pets // channonyarrow, more bloodshed // nyghtshayde, advisory warning // darumaseye, wake up a different person // lethaldose, damn kids yoda // m15m, pwned // potterpuffpals, too pretty to cut the grass // _m3_, tell me when I'll rise // enriana, vendetta into the west // m15m, dan radclifffe - jailbait jesus // phant, not a democracy // so_long42, coffee milk heroin bread cat food, mysterious skin disappear // hyel, your arms are too short to box with god, team midget // channonyarrow, this isn't chocolate boxes and roses, never come back // vormav, ed hell no no fucking way // mesongles, katrina can't stop the rock // petulantg, english motherfucker do you speak it?, count yourself // lawryn4rent, crazy inside // inefable, drowns in dreams // fragileentity, dead gods baby cobwebs cynic // melpamen, come home, i'm a fucking princess // __twelvenights, the essence of sarcasm, transmet calm before the storm // daruma, expecto patronum // blackdracaena, i will not rewrite the past, god and satan's book of buttsecks, writers are liars neil gaiman // refche, boy on leash // channonyarrow, stab you in the eye // kill_hilary, booze and boywhores // trollprincess, gay men at thirty // bunny_icons, blow me, iBrow // blinkilite, omg spelling // ladytalon, paint the pictures // enriana, think different // kimonthejourney, chair leg of truth // filthyassistant, patriot act no trial by jury, oh noes stitch, illiad spoiler // kateshort, the kid with the chemicals // suicidal_b, do evil burning gluing things, mcr gleeful, Obi-wan pimps // ambino1111, cheer up emu kid // dasuberflutung, author code // darumaseye, duke humphrey's library world quiet // r, play nice or I pull the pin // melpamene, save time see it my way // mind_orgasms, ball in box, loki with gun taking aim // darumaseye, kitten still standing defiance // 100x10, anakin nugget, drugs and women keep away loneliness, poor grammar tortures snape // potterpuf, soap bloodstains // darumaseye, fallen angel thinking boots // jkivela, punk rock princess // franken_stein, fear me // tararaven, end the occupation // channonyarrow, wolverine talk about me // 100x100, jeans and t shirt, patriots question pride not america // c, your daddy who is // kickthehobbit, end of the road // the__heretic, costume steal with your eyes // channony, bite my shiny metal ass // dinkylorenzo, god is pretend // melpamene, spider on green evil smirk // darumaseye, ello worm happy // 100x100, machines of destiny // graeae, dodge this trinity, common people, azrael fucking demon // arintinwe, my fandom's close bds // ayrdomei, get on your knees and pray // pms_queen, big brother bush // stufflikethat, blow up the floats // latenightcat5, the affairs of slashers, better living through chemistry // pixie, hell comes with me // ems_evil_twin, hate is baggage // lethal_d0se, smite // enriana, gentlemen liars // w_h_o_r_e, scotch cigarettes // simply_blah, evolution! // anna_sinistra, orally fixated boys, twist poster // channonyarrow, tax religion offensive // melpamene, happy avatar // channonyarrow, brokeback // starsouls1013, bullets dodge mcr // decimatedreams, sexy beast johnny depp // hotsexicons, icon that never ends // insanity_icons, hobbit please // m15m, not obscene // azuredflame, cass // deathbyexposure, aesthetic instruments blood knives // me, moose are fucking animals // __twelvenig, so emo I could kill you // mind_orgasms
I rant too much for some people. *happyfaces*

I want a little icon of someone, like an AIM smiley, with a big thumbs up that possibly says ++GOOD! on it, but that's because I'm basically mean, and also completely bulletproof today*. I had an awesome day (despite the weird previously-ranted shit) that culminated with espousing my philosophy of "Everybody wins and my job is to make the world a little weirder" to my mother and feeling very positive about how all that went down, though I did refrain from directly quoting XKCD to her. So today I'm pretty happy.

I'm a little annoyed and frustrated that I haven't been able to replace anger as my motivating device, but I think that will change over time (or else I'll get completely pissed off and regress to being an angry teenager and then it's all moot). That's really the biggest age-related change I've experienced (at my mighty age of 912 years in cynicism) and it's kind of disheartening, but also: I could be going bald, and I'm not. Neener neener!

I am amazingly sane according to every therapist I've ever seen. I think about that sometimes. It's kind of awesome: it means I'm not being weird because God said I should, it's because I want to be. That's a good place to be, though I would like a time machine to go smack myself up as a teenager. On the other hand, I survived high school, so I guess I don't need to. Making that self be like this self would be blood in the fucking water, believe me. I'm sort of glad we hadn't invented emo back in the dark ages when I was in high school.


* The world needs a functionality like AIM icons or LJ icons where I can just have something like that hanging around me all the time and I can change it as needed. I suppose, if you want to be technical, that would be my face, but I'm not writing ++GOOD! on my face for a one-off. I'm still waiting for Life 2.0.
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